CW: mention of suicide
Help is available to you no matter what your circumstances may be. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis, please dial the 24-hour campus crisis line at (310) 825-0768 or contact UCLA Counseling and Psychological Services immediately to schedule an appointment.
http://greatist.com/grow/resources-when-you-can-not-afford-therapy
If I Can’t Title My Blog Post, How Am I Expected to Title a Book?! – http://wp.me/p2Q8hY-aF
Holmes: I went off meds on accident
Watson: *shudder*
Watson: …
Watson: Holmes
Holmes: remembered what depression was
Watson: Eeeps
Holmes: then went back on
Holmes: and my body hated me for a while
Holmes: but I’m ok again
Watson: It must have been awful You’ve said this like three times – what was it like?
Holmes: Idk.
Holmes: I was so fucking amped, but not necessarily more awake/effective.
Holmes: I felt like a live wire
Holmes: cuz the meds I take are for both anxiety and depression
Watson: So they
Watson: Ah
Holmes: more angry than usual overall…on the worst day I had this weird anger spike, but it was numbing and draining at the same time and I was like omg I’m so confused I’m angry but also feel nothing and wtf is this…oh, right. depression.
Watson: Does it all balance upon return to the meds?
Holmes: yeah, I feel like I finally understand what they’re doing.
Watson: You said it took you a really long time to figure out what worked
Holmes: It doesn’t “make” me happy. It doesn’t change me… it evens me out.
Holmes: just changing dosages and incorporating things for worst case scenarios. a few months, so I guess not that long in the grand scheme of things.
Watson: Kinda crazy…
Watson: But yeah, not that long in the long run..
Holmes: never crazy =P
Holmes: Yup.
Watson:: *sigh*
Watson: Going to try sleeping maybe
Watson: Thanks for being there ~
Watson: Bye for now
Holmes: Always
Watson: good night!
Holmes: good night
#myBRUINstory starts in a small community called Yucaipa. I still remember a friend asking me why I work so hard while we were in English my freshman year of high school. My response? “Because I want to get the hell out of here.” It would take me years to remember that small communities like this one, both the ones we find and the ones we create, are where we grow our strength and find our love.
I woke up this morning, mid-anxiety attack for the first time in months. There were a number of triggering factors involved, but realistically I just have rough days sometimes. That being said, I knew there was a wonderful event that a dear mentor/friend and so many other incredible people had prepared this morning, so I did my best to pull my act together and I wandered down to Pauley Pavilion. rehearsal for BRUIN LIFE was everything I could have hoped for and more. The beautiful souls that spoke and performed embodied the idea of discovering our own truths and were brave enough to share their truths with all of us. I hope and know they were able to touch so many lives this morning, including mine.
To steal from the event page, please remember this: “Being a “Bruin” is not static; it is a process. It is a brave space full of transformation, self-discovery, and sometimes confusion, fear, and even pain. Becoming a #Bruin is a journey that invites you to “try on” new experiences and evolve as you carve out your future self.” We continue to evolve. I’m so thankful for the communities, both near and far, that have helped me do so.
CarlyDreme 